I would like to introduce you to an old friend of mine, the e-thirteen Single Ring Security device.

Its been with me now for 5, possibly 6 years. Starting off life when they first came out, the first in the UK i believe. Its spent a couple of years on my Imperial, before moving onto a Tomac 3 years since. There it did 2 years of service before the Tomac met a unsticky demise on A-Line. The it was onto a DHR for a month of chainless action - a virtual chainguide holiday if you will. Its final place of rest is now aboard a Giant Faith.

So what information have I gleaned in these past 6 years?
Certainly that the guide is nigh on indestructable. It may look battered and bruised, and the lower roller may have cracked clean through one side 2 years ago, but it still runs as well as it ever did. The supercharger has been buried an inch into A-Line when my frame snapped, and the boomerang has more 'custom' fitting holes in it than original. But its come out wanting to be fitted once more. In fact this is the longest serving piece of biking gear that I own. It spends most of its life gobbed up in British mud, and yet its still on its original plastics and roller.

So I feel there is only one way i can conclude this review, and that is with the following sentence.

6 years old, abused more than a $200 Thai bride, never dropped a chain, perfection.

My local video store runs this sweet deal, where on Mondays you can rent any movie for $1. So every Monday I trundle down to the store and I spend about $7 on films...

CLICK HERE FOR THE FULL REVIEW

POSTED BY SEB

Since the release of Kranked 5 in 2003, Bjorn Enga has been on a bit of a hiatus from making mountain bike films; among other things he made an acclaimed instructional yoga film with Vancouver-based yoga sensation Eoin Finn. FACT!! So its no surprise that Enga and Radical Films decided to hit back with something that is very different from the previous Kranked films. But what did he hit back with? The sound of one hand clapping? Well sort of.

Gone are the crappy digital skeletons riding bone bikes, thrash metal soundtrack and A.D.D.-esque style of editing that defined its predecessors. Instead Enga and his cronies decided to try and set a precedence for film making and mountain biking in general by asking a bunch of top riders to imagine and execute what’s possible to do on a mountain bike, and to think deeply about the directions mountain biking can be pushed.

If whistlerdiaries.com was a commercial enterprise I could end this review right now by saying simply that in many ways this film does achieve this goal and that you should go out and buy it on our on-line store…

…But that wouldn’t really be telling the truth would it? And it certainly wouldn’t be any fun.


The riding in this flick impressed me. The stand out for me were: Ben Boykos whole section is a banger; James Doerfling line which is fast, flowy and full of big air; Kurt Voreis’ Alley-opp 180 gap (even though he shags the stem a little too much), massive wall ride hard way 360, and alley-opp wall ride; Jamie Goldman’s massive flips whether it be over big doubles or off a huge drop; Rennie and Peaty riding so fast and so close that it’s like they are playing kiss chase.

Riding low lights are pretty thin on the ground in this movie but what I didn’t really like was Kurt Voreis putting his foot down on a 360 tire tap and Eric Porter putting his foot down on a hitching post hand plant. These are by no means easy tricks to pull but I just don’t understand why the filmmakers would choose to keep these shots in. Although the idea of the film was to ride one continuous line you know for a fact that it wasn’t filmed in one continuous shot, so why didn’t the director scream at the rider to get his act together and pull the damn trick or they will find themselves walking home. I would.

As far as progression goes the two riders that I think really push the concept of progression in mountain biking is Ryan Leech and Mike Kinrade. They both use this film as an opportunity to showcase where riding can go by lifting the lid off any of the existing definitions and ideas of what mountain biking is.

Although I think Leech should not be allowed to speak because he is so nerdy that I want to give him an atomic wedgie, and his breathing whilst he is riding makes him sound like he about to give birth, his trail is far from nerdy and I almost had a few babies whilst watching it.

I have never really been a fan of Mike Kinrades riding but after his section in Kranked I respect him a lot now. His section is a proper big mountain line in the backcountry with exposure, big gaps, high-speed wide-open alpine sections, booters, and gladed sections. It’s obvious that the inspiration comes from big mountain skiing. His section is an ideal one to end the film with because it makes a bold statement about one direction that mountain biking has been slow to explore and this is exactly what mountain bikes are capable of nowadays.

Unfortunately what let this film down are the editing and the soundtrack. The editing is very poor for the first two thirds of the film. A lot of the cuts seem to be very poorly timed. Some shots are cut too fast and others linger on the screen way too long. Also the tempo of the slow-mo seems a little off on some shots. But the biggest issue I had with the editing was that it seems like the soundtrack was pasted on after all the sections were edited. The editing pays little attention to the musical rhythm or beat. But I don’t blame the editor really because if I was doing the editing I would of placed most of the soundtrack on mute whilst I was cutting the film because it is abmismal. There are a few tracks that I think go well with the ‘feel’ of the section but mostly it is absolute dribble on a compact disc. The most offending track is the one playing on Eric Porters section (same one as the teaser) which sounds like it was recycled from an early 90s neon X-treme movie. Not exactly what I would call progressive. I do like the concept of using one artist to compose the whole soundtrack but I think this was probably to avoid costly music clearance.

Overall, I think these last two criticisms let this film down, and by let it down I mean this film becomes one just to borrow and not buy, It’s definitely a film that I would recommend every mountain biker watch, but its just not quite worth buying, but maybe that’s because I am a salty old cheap skate. See if I care if you blow all your money on such frivolities, just make sure there is money in your pocket to buy a round next time you are at the bar.

Posted by SEBYKINS

I’m not really qualified enough in the art of videography to make some of the bold statements I am about to impart upon you and the closest I have ever come to making my own part in a riding film is several ‘blue’ movies I have made with ex-girlfriends. So I’ll just write this from what I know.

Now when I get my happy-cam out I really make sure that I give the whole experience all my effort. I make sure that I’m pulling all my best moves, trying out new things that I have discovered on the web whilst ‘researching’ for my part, and I even try to get interesting with camera angles rather than just the old POV stuff. But in NWD7 there seemed to be a severe lack of effort on some riders’ behalf. The main culprit of this crime was Richie Schley. His part is very short (never good unless its so ground breaking hardcore that you need it to be over ASAP) and looks like it was filmed in one afternoon on one trail. It isn’t even a very well filmed piece. Just quick shots of said rider Schley-bletopping his way down a mediocre trail.

Wade Simmons section suffers from a similar problem. He obviously put ALOT of work into his part by building an extensive circus trail just for his part on NWD7 but really it ends up looking like a junior version of the mega cable cam trail from NWD6. It’s like putting all the effort in to date the hottest girl at school then finding out that shagging her is like humping a dead starfish.

Another thing about filming your own homemovie with your girlfriend/wife/random drunken pull is to know your what your good at, stick to it, and know your limits. This is something that the riders/ filmers in NMD7 didn’t do. You see what really hacked me off about this film was the amount of bloody street riding. Half of Cam Zink’s section is street, Kurt Voreis does a lot of street riding in his section, it is no surprise that a lot of Aaron Chases part is street riding, and Jeff Lenosky rides all street (except for his last stunt which is a good trials/trails hybrid move). Seriously some body needs to stop this trend. BMXs are built for this kind of stuff. Mountain bikes are bikes designed for the MOUNTAINs. They are built for aggressive off road riding.

It might not bother me if mountain bikers actually did good street but instead they are about a bezillion light years behind BMX street riding. It’s like watching a BMX video (yes I intentionally meant VHS) from about ten years ago. I mean it’s just not the tool for the trade. When I film my dirty deeds I don’t pretend I’m a caring sharing lesbian female and get all soft and tender, I just don’t have the tools to do that so I use the tool I have and get all off-road on the lady friend. I say use your knobblies boys, you aren’t lezzers.

There are some outstanding sections of riding in this movie namely the Claw (no surprise there. He truly is leading the way for mountain biking right now), Paul Bas (he is killing it with flip whips, 360 whips, and it looks like on the right jump he has the 720s dialed), Cedric Gracia (demonstrating effortless style over a variety of terrain) and the Lacondguy brothers…what the fuck!?! Luis Lacondguy does THE BEST EVER NOTHINGS EVER. There is no competition. I could watch that little nipper do them all day long. Take a lesson in style and watch this movie for that one trick alone. Both these little cabrons are so watch able because they look like they are having so much fun riding their bikes.

Another thing to consider is try and add a little story line to the sex scenario. Lets face it a few years down the line you are gonna be so bored for watching your pasty white arse pounding your lady friends treasure. However if you spend the time making it a little bit more interesting by adding a little dialogue, costume, and acting, then one day when the bitch dumps your sorry ass you can still show it to your mates and tell them that even though you may of blown your load a little early at least you didnt fluff your lines like that bitch did.

Unfortunately alot of this film just look like carbon copy dirt jumping riding montages. There is very little to differentiate the sections other than the brand of bikes. Where is the personality and the story that rounds off each riders section? I know in this day in age people seem not to have the attention span for complex storylines (or ranty reviews on piss ant websites) but surely there is room for putting a bit of character into each riders section. The great example of this is the timeless classic porn scenario of the plumber and the lonely housewife. You know the one, the plumber knocks on the door and announces that he has come to fix the lonely housewife’s pipes. It’s a very basic storyline but it sets the scene and gives you some reference point towards the characters motivations once they are just blur of naked flesh later on rather. The sex scene would just become meaningless if you were never presented the context for the banging.

Anyway, if that last bit confuses you then just forget it because I need your attention for the next thing I am about to say to you…ready? Then ill begin. Robbie Bourbon has the closing section in this movie. What the fuck!!!! Yes it’s absolutely beyond me why. His part consists of a massive huck drop to start off then several minutes of out of control and style-less riding that make washing the dishes seem appealing. Then to end it the little troglodyte made a stone house to live in and decides that actually he would rather use it to get to the other side of the Shire quicker. This huck stunt ends up with him bouncing completely out of control off our screens. Then the credits roll and you are left wondering why on earth did Freeride Entertainment decide to end its film with that display of celluloid vomit. The last section of any riding flick is meant to be the absolute banger – the money shot. But with this film you are left feeling like your girlfriend’s dad interrupted you just before you were able to erupt.

All in all this episode follows the recipe of previous NWD films so if you like the previous films then you may like this one. However I’m just glad that riding films come on DVD format nowadays. Five years ago I would of never recommend buying this flick because all the fast-forwarding through the crap sections to get to the good ones would of knackered your VHS player in no time at all. I once got one of my homemade movies stuck into my mates VHS player because the FF button jammed. He got the fright of his life the next time he switched it on expecting to watch the recorded Formula One highlights and instead he got an eyeful of me humping his sister.

SEB