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THE HUMAN BISCUIT GOES DOWN 
February 6, 2008 01:38


Yes they finally got to him.

Seems little Robbie Bourbon has been dropped from the Kona Clump squad. No reason has been officially given yet. Likewise Robbies future plans have not been published.

Although i am definetely not one of his fans i do have to say i hope he gets some kinda ride cause what with both him and Duncan Riffle sponsorless we might have to got looking for a new personality to rip on. So watch out Marc Beaumont, you better be hoping these two dont dissappear from our gaze.
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VERTIGO BIKES CHAINLESS DOWNHILL AT CORONET 
January 21, 2008 21:36
Saturday 19th Jan (was it the 19th? dates are for pansies anyway) brought blue skies and a fine day of racing.....fuck me thats a boring way to start a race report. sounds like a race report from Road Cycling News.

How about this instead....

Fucking Egghead should never of given up racing! Mark 'Egghead' Ellison is currently a wrench for Vertigo Bikes in Queenstown and is formerly a UK National Champion. Several years ago after reaching the giddy heights of UK race domination he sold his bikes to afford a lads holiday to Magaluf and that was the last anyone saw of him at the races.

But in just two weeks he has been storming back onto the podium (1st place NZ Nationals Coronet, 2nd place Vertigo NZ DH Racing Celebrity Bash, and now 1st Place at the Chainless at Coronet).


Mark 'EGGHEAD" Ellison the morning after celebrating another victory

So the concept was easy, take your chain off and see if you can rely on gravity and cornering skills to get you down the hill fastest. It was all meant as a fun relaxed event which is why we didnt see Adam Mantle, Katie Holden (currently in Queenstown) or Ginger Si turn up. Adam some of you may know famously blew his top last summe rin Whistler when he refused to take his chain off for the B-Line race. It seems he can't simply enjoy a race unless he his flogging his already shagged out drivetrain into the ground....but anyway, thats beside the point.

If some of you are geeky enough you may want to compare the times here against the times from the Coronet Nationals two weeks previous. Both races were held on exactly the same course, but surprisingly some people managed to go faster without a chain. Note EggHead knocked 7 seconds off his Nationals time. The track was running slightly faster due to a little overnight dew which damped down the sandpits in the corners but it is still telling that some riders didnt improve on their Nationals time. By my calculations i estimate the track was running 5-7 seconds faster on average.

Anyway, enough of the endless wonderings of 'what if?'
go find yourself some fun elsewhere

Race # First Name Surname

21 Mark Ellison 3:21.1 fastest man
128 Matt Scoles 3:21.3
120 Tim Mackersey 3:23.5
122 Troy Murdoch 3:24.6
111 Jeremy Lyttle 3:25.6
132 Brendon Gow 3:28.6
108 Seb Kemp 3:30.0
112 Cam Johnson 3:30.8
131 Kevin Fife 3:32.4
100 Christian Mauli 3:34.4
130 Senn Steel 3:37.6
105 Lawrence McBreen- 3:44.0
102 William Mathieson 3:45.4
118 Tony Moore 3:46.0
119 Sheryl McLeod 3:47.0 fastest women
113 Tom Hey 3:47.7
109 Jamie Tilbury 3:50.7
101 David Andrews 3:50.8
117 Cory Claric 3:53.4
115 Dave Zaccarelli 4:03.7
134 Dan Haydon 4:08.0
106 James Allan 4:12.0
135 Paul Dunn 4:12.2
114 Conner Gambles 4:18.6
107 Nathan Dell 4:24.8
104 Cameron Ross 4:25.6
110 Lee Roff 4:29.0
136 Richard Watt 4:33.0
126 Luke Gilchrist 4:37.1
123 Luke Murdoch 4:42.2
116 Naomi Wilson 4:44.9
127 Matthew Caldwell 5:04.9
129 Martin Cuthberts5:05.9
103 Richard Wolson DNS
124 Chris Scott DNS
125 Krissteen Smith DNS
133 Steven Foote DNS
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DUNCAN RIFFLE IS IN DIRE STRAITS 
January 19, 2008 02:39


No not really, Duncan has not joined THE band of the 80s, instead he is finding himself approaching the 08 season without a major sponsor. Its a total mystery to everyone here at WhistlerDiaries.com as to why he has not getting major support. Maybe the 'industry' needs to wake up a little. I mean, he gets more coverage than most riders.


The Riffleator during happier times as the Royal team pot washer

If things dont get better for Mr. Riffle then its back to the salon dying mens tips.

Well never fear Duncan, we are here to help. Everyone at WhistlerDiaries.com is kicking the HOES charity back into action especially for you.



We are not sure what zany fundraising tactics we will be using yet, but we have started by all promising to donate 10% of our own earnings to the charity. Which mean by Sea Otter we should of raised enough to afford to buy Duncan a Sloppy Joe and a gear inner cable.

Don't fear Mr Riffle we will have you back on the World Cup circuit and racing for podiums...opps, sore point.





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SAM HILL IS A C**T 
December 19, 2007 00:55


Came across this on the Dirt Mag Website and it made me fucking cry with laughter and joy and sadness and envy. The latter becuase i didnt make it myself first. To the man 'Jon' who made it, i fucking love you.

Posted by SEB
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